My Leah Blog

Last night, I played around on this blog site and found so many dressed up and beautiful blogs that when I came back to my own, I felt as if I should throw on something a little better.

The pictures and captions and backgrounds of the other bloggers intimidated me more than

a little, and as usual I began comparing what I can do to the capabilities of others.

It's a long story, beginning in childhood, when I felt beautiful and according to my parents, I was

beautiful, inside and out..until I got to grade school and perhaps the fourth or fifth grade, when like Adam and Eve, everyone's eyes seemed to open and being smart and witty no longer counted. You had to be beautiful. There was something about the upturned nose and long silky hair of some girls that caused boys who had little experience in judging between attractive and

"not so" suddenly became experts at casting the so called "ugly" girls into a sea of "make her play, eat and do everything else with her "own kind" and so it went.

For all of my precociousness, my ability to sing, write, draw and play the piano, I was cast into the double sea of nerd and unattractive. I cursed the day that my mother met my daddy because I deemed it to be his fault that I had the nose, that awful shnozzola placed in the center of my face, and though my hair was moderately long, I felt that my features were on backwards, with no earlobes to speak of, and thin, un-enticing lips.

I lurched my way through adolescence, being a little too free with my "behind the auditorium" favors and it occurs to me now, that the boys who thought I was so unattractive had no problem taking me someplace in the high school gymnasium, when nobody was looking and doing little nasty boy things.

Anyway, when our pastor told the story of Jacob and Leah, I sat there and wept. I figured that Leah had gotten the short end of the stick. Jacob, a trickster in his own right, had the nerve to protest that he had been tricked. As much as the bible goes on to tell us how beautiful Rachel was, we never hear if Jacob was a catch or not, but we do read about the trials and tribulations of Leah, who just wanted to fit in, to feel loved if not beautiful. We know how that story ends. Leah has a slew of babies for the thankless Jacob, who worked for his father in law seven more years so that he could get his mitts on the ravishing Rachel, who stole some of her father's treasures on the way out, and had Laban hoofing it up the road, in hot pursuit of Jacob, believing that he had stolen his golden treasures. Wow! What a story.

So, when I looked at my plain and simple blog and compared it to others, I thought, "Here you go again, Zee.....and I had to stop right there.

My blog is about progress and moving on. It is about triumph and happiness!

Jessie Mae is a blessing to me. Through all that I have suffered in life and all of the suffering I have seen, God has brought me to a place of beauty and light. Double for my trouble.

I can do nothing but rejoice in His favor, because like Leah who was shown favor by God and given many sons, whom no doubt loved their mother and gave her great pleasure, God has given me plenty to rejoice about and if this site never gets decorated, I am thankful to have it to share with others.

Thank You Lord, for allowing us to see beauty in the little things.

Thank you for my Leah Blog.